its a nice day to start again...

okay so back to work after a three day weekend. whee. it is so hard to come back after that one extra day off. i start to dread this time of year because we won't have another day off (after labor day of course) until the end of november. i wish i could take a vacation this fall. go to NYC with val and check out some broadway plays, go to cali to finally visit richard and jason. something. i feel so stinkin worn out half the time i can't even pull it together enough to clean the house.

looking at the bright side of things, i've started working out. even better? i don't hate it. haha. it is oddly satisfying to get in there and sweat for half an hour or an hour. i'm not doing anything too crazy yet, but it's a start. it's better than sitting on the couch every day as soon as i get home from work. tonight val and i are going to try out a class. we saw it last monday and it looks like it will be good. it will probably kick my ass six ways from sunday, but it'll be fun to give it a shot. they were doing a lot of lunging and holding and they were using weights. yeah, i'm going to hate my life tomorrow. especially when we go to Shara's gravity class tomorrow night so she can yell at us. haha.

what else do i have going on? ah, saturday. i know better, i really do. but eric called on friday night and was all 'i really want to hang out, i'm going to call you as soon as i wake up tomorrow and come over, is that cool?' sure. i've seen him once in over a month, i think hanging out and watching some movies might be fun. so i wake up, go water my mom's plants and pick up some lunch. i'm hanging out at neci's with mr. deeds and juicy. watching some stand up comedy and relaxing on the couch. 1 rolls around...then 2, 2:30 and C messages me asking if i'm going to come down to the pool. i paint my toenails...then 3:30, finally i say fuck it and i head down to the pool. i'm down there for a few hours, and by the time i get back to denise's house, i'm totally hammered. haha. i fell asleep and woke up at midnight. still...nothing. no call. no text. no nada. so i sent him a message that just said 'i guess not much has changed, has it?' and of course i get this sob text back about how he had the worst day of his life and yada yada yada. and the sad part is, he may have had a horrible day. but the fact that he didn't even have the courtesy to text me and say he wasn't going to come over. it just shows me that nothing at all has changed. he still thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants to me and it will all just be okay.

i don't know why i was suprprised. i shouldn't have been. its the same old story over and over again. sad that i don't believe his day was that bad when he ended it by going to josh's bbq...where she was. really, my feelings didn't even get hurt this time. i just rolled my eyes and moved on. so i guess thats a good sign.

do i still get emotional about it? sure. not as severely or as often, but it happens. i'm alright tho, and i think that is the important part. i'm working hard to fill my time so i don't dwell on it. i'm back on eHarmony. maybe i'll keep it for longer than a month this time to see if i get any good matches. there have been some that i've been interested in that haven't shared the interest but i won't let it break me. haha.

anywho, back to work. just realized it has been awhile since i updated. hope all is well with all of you.

lovelovelovelove,
lauren