TGIPD

Day 9

Well here we are...Friday. Pay Day. Halloween. Spoooooky.

I'm pretty excited...I'm going to Sherlock's tonight, yes...I know. I don't really like Sherlock's. It isn't that I don't have a good time when I go there, it is just always so packed and loud and overpriced. I'll take my sweet little Outer Marker any day of the week, thank you. BUT I'm going to Sherlock's for a reason. I won't be drinking, which is going to a test...this is the first time I'll be in an actual bar since I stopped drinking. My wonderful Tango 9 boys (Paul, Mike and Jeff) and Lauren (Paul's wife) and I think some girls that Mike knows will all be there. I don't see any of them very often anymore, but between work, how far we all live from each other and Mike constantly going to Malaysia for work...it isn't easy. But I figure what the hey, they'll practically be in my backyard. So I'm stoked. I wish Chris could come and meet them all but he'll be taking Annie trick or treating tonight, so I'm sure he'll have a blast with her.

I went in for my first official weigh in on Wednesday and I'm happy with the way things are progressing. It's very encouraging to see results after just one week. It really makes me want to stay on this thing. I will, of course, be making an exception on Saturday night for Denise and Jonah's party...but other than that, I'm pretty happy sticking to this diet. I eat well at night and so far that seems to be appeasing most of my snacking desires. Last night I was really craving something salty to snack on and probably would have stabbed someone for a calorie free can of pringles or something. At least tonight I won't be at home with nothing to do but think about how much delicious food is out there that i can't have.

On the plus side, I tried a new kind of not cookie today. Blueberry. WOW. I wasn't very sure about this one...you know how I feel about fruit and bread together. Man, it is about as close to eating a blueberry muffin as I think you could get without actually having one. Sooooo yummy. That makes me really happy, to find yet another one that I really actually like. It makes me excited about the banana one, they told me to heat that one up a little bit in the microwave and put a couple sprays of butter on it, it tastes like banana bread. So I'll hold off on trying that one for a few days. At least these things don't taste like cardboard. That would suck.

So my only plans for Halloween are partying it up tomorrow night with the neighbors. I'm trying to decide what I want for dinner tonight as all my chicken and fish leftovers are gone. Maybe I'll treat myself and run over to The Flying Fish for something yummy and grilled. Their veggies are soooo good. Who knows? What I wouldn't give for something smothered in cheese and deep fried.

Dreaming of chicken fried bacon,
Lauren

And in the red corner...weighing in at....

Day 7

Today is my first official weigh in at the Smart for Life center. Is center the right word? Office? Den of evil not cookies and sugar free dressing? Nah, the place is great, I'm just joshin. My counselor I met with was a huge help and really sweet. I'm sure she thought I was losing my mind because I kept trying to come up with good snacks I could have during the day while she was talking.

I got on the scale this morning and it had gone up a pound. Lesson from this? Stop weighing yourself at work. I'm done. All it does is frustrate me and then I lose sight of what is really happening. I'm doign everything right and I know the weight is coming off so I'm not going to sweat the small stuff. We'll just focus on how much I've lost this week when I go in today. Goodness...I am extra thirsty today for some reason. Not too sure why...but I've had 48 oz of water already today so thats really good. If this diet does nothing else for me, it is making me drink a ton more water and a lot less of everything else.

I want to tell you what I cooked for dinner last night. 1) I wasn't sure how to cook spaghetti squash. I didn't even know what it was, to be honest, but it is on my list of veggies I can eat. So, I just kind of winged it. wow, it was REALLY yummy. And 2) it was the first night I cooked for Chris. Amazing that it took three months for me to make him dinner, but seeing as how my kitchen has been pretty much a war zone since we met..this is the first time I've braved it. OH! Number 3) I had also never cooked scallops before. This was much easier than I thought it would be and very delicious. So for you cookers out there:

Lemon Creole Tilapia
Fresh tilapia - rinsed off
1 to 2 lemons (based on how many fish filets you have)
Creole Seasoning
Salt and Pepper

• Preheat the oven to 400 degrees
• Lightly salt and pepper both sides of your tilapia filets
• Add creole seasoning (I use Zataran's or Tony's) to both sides to your desired level. I cover pretty liberally - but keep in mind that creole seasoning has salt in it as well, so you don't want to pre-salt the fish too much if you are going to add a lot of creole seasoning. I like my fish spicy.
• Place fish filets in a pan. I like to use my stone from Pampered Chef but a standard glass baking pan is what I use when my stone is out of commission.
• Slice a lemon into rounds fairly thin. Place two to three lemon rounds on top of each filet to cover as much of the fish as you can. This will add a nice crisp flavor and a lot of moisture while the fish bakes.
• Put in oven and bake for 20-25 minutes. Less if your filets are on the smaller side. You don't want the fish to dry out, but you want it to be nice and flakey.
• After you've taken the fish out of the oven, squeeze the juice from the lemon slices over the fish. I don't like to serve with the lemon slices on the fish (even tho it looks good) because people generally don't know what do to with them on their plate.

If you'd like to make a nice dip to serve with the fish, mix 1/2 cup sour cream, 1/4 cup mayonaise, three tablespoons fresh chopped dill and juice from a whole lemon. It compliments the fish really well.

Blackened Grilled Scallops
1 pound Bay Scallops (you can get them from the butcher at the grocery. Bay Scallops are the small ones)
Blackening Seasoning

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees
• Rince scallops in water
• Put scallops in a plastic bag (the bag they came in will work fine, or a ziplock bag)
• Squeeze a little lemon or lime juice in the bag and toss the scallops around just so they all get a little wet from the juice. You don't need much.
• Pour blackening seasoning into the bag (I use Chef Paul Prudhomme's Blackened Redfish Magic seasoning blend) and toss scallops around until all are covered. Use seasoning to your liking.
• Put in a baking dish and bake for about 10-12 minutes. Test one (it should flake apart very easily) to ensure cooked thouroughly.

I made these with the baked tilapia. Since I knew they would cook faster, I put the fish in first then threw these in the same pan with the fish about halfway thru the cooking time.

Spaghetti Squash - Roasted
1 Spaghetti Squash
Pam Spray or Olive Oil

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees
• Cut squash in half long ways
• Remove all seeds with a spoon (you might have to use a knife to scrape the seeds out, I did)
• Place face down on a cookie sheet and bake for 45 minutes to an hour (or until you can rake a fork along the 'meat' of the squash and it pulls away like spaghetti)

This was great with just salt and pepper, it was so sweet and moist it didn't need butter at all. Produced a LOT of squash too. Be prepared to have leftovers.

So we had that with some brussel sprouts and steamed cabbage. OH and I made a cucumber and tomato salad with balsamic vinegar and fresh basil. Yum Yum! And that is how I eat every night now. Haha. I guess that makes it easier to understand how I can stand just eating these cookies during the day.

Demetric is in the office next to me using a permanent marker and the smell has given me a headache. Fantastic. Hopefully it will go away with the Excedrin Migraine I just took.

Anyway, I'm off to finish my day. Hope you have a lovely one.

Sniffin' markers,
Lauren

Zombies and Vampires and Clowns, Oh My!

Day 6

I keep forgetting it is the week of Halloween. It is so hard to believe that we are four days away from November. Then, Thanksgiving will be here, then Christmas, then my birthday. Eek. It's already here again. I remember being a kid and summer seemed SO long, there was far too much space in between Christmases and an 8 - 3 o'clock day at school lasted forever. Now I sit and can't even imagine where the last few years have gone. Everything has just flown by at such speeds that I find it hard to focus sometimes. Life just goes by in a blur of color that you can't quite make out...the familiarity is there, but one day you wake up and you are standing in this entirely new place...not quite sure how you got there. I feel like I'm reaching out to try and grab on to as much as I possibly can and at times I can only sit and watch the stream of colors slip thru my fingers.

All of that being said, I love where I am right now. I love the people in my life. I love what I have an am accomplishing. And even with all that, I can't help but wonder how my life might be different 'if'. You know? So much in my past would have altered everything so drastically if I just would have taken the right fork instead of the left. I think in a lot of ways I chose the road less traveled, and for that I am proud. Life has its ups and downs respectively and I think I'm just excited to be on an up right now.

To the topic at hand...the ::gasp!:: diet. Today has been hard but only because I am so tired. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night. Thankfully, this is the first time it has happened since i began the diet. Generally, without a few drinks in my system, sleeping is a little bit of an issue. It hasn't been as of yet, until last night. I'm not sure exactly why I couldn't sleep but then, even when I did drift off, i dreamt that I was still having trouble sleeping. So, when I did wake up at about 4:30 this morning to realize I had been sleeping for a couple of hours...I felt as if I'd never been asleep at all. it did make me off on my cookie intake today. I always kind of associate eating with being sleepy so I tend to not eat anything if I'm trying to stay awake.

I also figured something else out. I can really get obsessive about the scale. I need to learn that just because I haven't lost another pound since yesterday....doesn't mean that it isn't working. Obviously it's working, I'm just being silly. It upset me for a total of about 4 minutes, then I realized how silly I was being and snapped out of it. My official weigh in is tomorrow night after work. I'm pretty stoked about it. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The thing I'm probably most proud about right now is the fact that I went to a Halloween party last night and I didn't drink anything OR eat anything. I tasted the punch, only because Josh was raving about it, but that was it. Tuaca Lauren actually went to a party and didn't get drunk. Ta-daaaaaaa. It's my new parlour trick. It was pretty funny, I went to Josh's party....dressed as Josh. I even had 'KING' written on the inside of my fingers and my hair greased back. He got a kick out of it as did the other guys there. I was therefore included as a King for the rest of the night and toasted their jager shots with my water every time. mmmm.

P.S. being the only sober person at a party isn't necessarily how I want to spend my Monday nights, but if I were to do it with anyone, it would be that crowd. Love those peeps...as crazy as they might be.

I am out of all the good cookies. Tomorrow I'm going to have to figure out how to choke down the Garden Pizza as that is all I have left. She mentioned a little salsa so I'll try that first. Wish me luck.

Tonight I'm cooking dinner for Chris for the very first time. I'm excited. I only wish I would have marinated some veggies last night. Eh, I'll figure something delicious out. I generally do, if I do say so myself.

So tonight will be another lovely evening of Battlestar Galactica (I've already got chris to season three) and some homemade cooking. Nothing like science fiction telly and cajun baked fish...

Beam me up Scotty,
Lauren

Her Middle Name is Boom

Day 5

The title today comes from one of my very favorite glassJAW songs. I forget how much I love them sometimes. If you don't listen, you should check out one of their earlier albums. It is called Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silence and it will rock your face off. I have this weird memory of getting off the phone with Kyle Cermak after leaving the mall and putting that CD in as I drove to my friend Monty's house. He lived in Bedford or something and I lived in Denton at the time so I'd have lots of time to drive and listen to lovely music on the way. I do still love that album.

Anyway, where were we? Ahhhh, yes, day five. :) The hardest part so far, as they said it would be, is the not drinking. But even that is being given a run for it's money by boredom. Just sitting at home, watching TV and feeling lazy makes me want to eat stuff. I'm not particular as to what said 'stuff' might be. Could be some olives, or a pickle or four...maybe half a can of pringles? Almonds...ooo do you have almonds (they are nature's wet sand, you know...)?

You're welcome Valerie.

So anyway, my two biggest hurdles...not being drunk and mindless eating. You know, if that is the worst I've got to deal with, I think I'll be okay. I just keep reminding myself that I've unofficially lost seven (yeah you read that right...biotch) pounds and I plan on losing a lot more. Its a drop in the bucket, but hey...a drop is a drop and I'll freakin take it.

One thing I've learned I don't like is people going 'Lauren...' like they're going to scold me for doing something I shouldn't be doing. My guilty conscience does just fine on its own, thank you very much. I don't need you treating me like I don't know that I shouldn't eat that. Yeah, thanks, I'll beat myself up over it on my own.

Luckily, not very much of this has happened. The best part is, I usually don't feel guilty at all. I can usually justify just about anything to myself. Even when I was spending all that money doing Nutrisystem a few years ago - I was putting away almost two liters of vodka every few days. So this time, I'm doing it right and am providing myself with just enough of a conscience about it. Hopefully this will hold.

I do have to say, I feel better. I'm still a little sleepy from the lack of calories, but they say that will regulate after a couple of weeks. Until then, I'll keep taking my B12 and getting a full night's sleep for the first time in years. Literally.

It is funny how such a small amount of weight can make you feel so much better. Just knowing that I'm slowly melting away makes me feel like I've got a little hitch in my giddy-up. It's a great feeling.

Thinking thin,
Lauren

Scary Doesn't Even Cut It

Day Four

Today is Sunday. This weekend proved to be the challenge that it was as far as the diet goes. I knew that I should eat a normal lunch yesterday since we (Chris and I) were taking Annie (his wee one) to Six Flags. Not too smart trying to walk around an amusement park in full pirate garb with half of my daily 800 calories in my belly. So we, started our day at Sweet Tomatoes (if you live in the North Dallas area, you HAVE to try this place. yum yum). I had a reasonable lunch and was proud of myself. So we headed to Chris's place to get dressed up to take Annie to the park. We got all gussied up and headed out. Annie was so excited, it's kind of odd how much I adore that kid after only being around her a couple of times. She has the funniest personality, she keeps me and Chris laughing, thats for sure.

Anyway, we head out to Six Flags, pay for parking, walk the 749,685 miles to the gate only to be confronted by a park employee who's name tag read the ever important title of 'Supervisor'. He then informed us that adults aren't allowed to dress up in the park during Fright Fest. I'll spare you all the details, but basically because their employees are dressed up they don't want adults being confused for park employees. Maybe we'd be too convincing with a six year old dressed like a character from High School Musical in tow. But I digress...

After getting a refund for our parking, and a very long walk back to the car, we headed back to North Dallas to change into normal clothes. Before heading back to Six Flags, we went to McDonald's and I ate...well...too much. I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I did then spend five hours walking around a theme park, so I'm hoping that I kind of evened out the damage that I did. Last night I had every intention of going home and finishing the box of wine in my fridge, I already did away with my day, right? Thankfully I fell asleep at Chris's watching the Food Network and by the time he woke me up and I got home, it was about 1 a.m. and after walking the dogs (which took suprisingly long...Hoss and his damn stomach issues) I succumed to the fact that it would be stupid and ridiculous to drink anything and settled with putting in a 4400 disc and falling asleep.

Oh and let me throw this in. When did Six Flags become Ghettofest 2008? I swear, in all the years I've been going to Six Flags, it has never been so crowded. And about 80% of the people there were hoodlems. Part of it made me just feel old...but then after careful consideration, I realized that me and my friends were not like that when we were that age. A group of 14/15 year old girls were behind us in line for a drink at one point talking about things...very loudly that no young teenage girl should be discussing. We'll just say that the topic involved things run on batteries. I mean really? We have a six year old girl with us, can't you see that? Not wanting to get in a screaming match with a 15 year old girl, that probably would not have ended well...I held my tongue. Thankfully, I think Annie was too engrossed in everything else going on around her to realize what they were saying. But it was like that everywhere we went. Six Flags has turned into the club scene for teens. It is ridiculous. There was even a fight at one point that drew the attention of about 15 cops running thru the park that we later found out was because someone had on the wrong color. It made me sad in a way...but believe me, next time we go, we'll be there when the park opens to avoid as much of this scene as possible.

Today has been kind of hard. Sunday is usually my day of crappy food and TV - so I've really had to just keep reminding myself of the financial commitment I've made to this diet. I am going to go thru with this. I've already lost a resounding five pounds or so (I know it is all water weight, but I'm thrilled nonetheless) so I am remembering that as I suck down the second liter of water I've had today. As I eat the cookies I'm not super fond of (the chocolate chip ones are DELICIOUS...alas I bought an equal amount of the chocolate raspberry. I could really do without these) I remind myself of the delicious dinner of fish and veggies I'll have this evening.

I have such an amazing support system in place. Even a friend who threatened to kick my ass (in a very lovingly way I'm sure) if I drank alcohol. As much as I may want to, I know that it isn't worth is. So here it is Sunday...I haven't really drank since Wednesday. Sadly, I can say this is the longest I've gone in a very long time without alcohol. I know that it is totally good for me. And I'm really not super beat up about it. Next weekend will be a challenge as well. I have a halloween party to go to that is going to test me. I've already allowed myself some wiggle room there as I know me, if I just go cold turkey on my two favorite things (food and booze) I'll end up binging and freaking out a few weeks in. So wiggle room I'll give myself...I just have be sure I don't wiggle too hard or I might knock down these walls I'm fighting so hard to keep up right now.

In all honesty, it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought it would be, so I am grateful for that. Day 1 was the hardest, the rest have really just been mind over matter. I'm not real hungry, and when I do get really hungry, I have things I love that I can have that really help. Thankfully, I like water, because I'm drinking a ton of it. Maybe I should invest in a video game system to keep me from wanting to eat when I'm sitting at home.

Day 4 - almost over. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

Fighting 'em till we can't,
Lauren

Starting Today

Starting yesterday, actually, I am making a huge change in my life. To say that I've started a diet is a bit of an understatement. I'm not on a very (very) low calorie meal plan that has me eating every two hours. A lot of baked chicken and fish is in my future. haha.

I decided to start this blog to log my journey. I am not going to be overweight on my 30th birthday. I WILL NOT. I have just over two years, but my hope is that this will work much faster than that. I just need to be able to stick with it. To say I could do it in just a few months would, I think, make it easier...but the prospect of having to live this way for a year or longer kind of scares me, to be honest.

I gained my first 20 or 30 pounds after I turned 21. Of course, my drinking increased...so I was constantly consuming empty calories late at night. A bit of a no-brainer. The confusing part comes when i gained the rest of it. When Shaun came home, and was so sick...I gained 70 pounds in seven months. To be frank, I literally have no idea how it happened. It was like i woke up one day and was wearing a size 18. When we split up, I vowed to lose the weight i had gained. hell, at that point it even seemed feasible. That was two years ago and I've somehow managed to pile on about 40 more.

So this blog is to say one thing...I'm not kidding myself anymore. I refuse to be this overweight on my 30th birthday. The weight isn't going to magically melt away unless I change my lifestyle dramatically. So...that's what I've done.

I started a plan called Smart for Life, you can visit their website (http://smartforlife.com/) and check it out if you want. Basically you get these 'cookies'...that are totally NOT cookies. I think they just tell you that to make you feel better about them. Haha. I will eat six of these not cookies a day, one every two hours. Then for dinner, six ounces of protein and two to five servings of vegetables. I had my first dinner last night and that is a LOT of veggies. Plus there are a handful of veggies I can have unlimited amounts of, so i threw some of those in the mix. I can still cook with balsamic vinegar...which most know is a staple in my kitchen. I just can't use oil or butter. I can't have red meat (it's only temporary. it's only temporary. my mantra...) or pork. All of which I can deal with. The worst part? No alcohol.

I don't think this is the worst because I'm some huge drunk...but do I drink every day? Yes. Have I for years? Yes. Even if it is just a glass of wine or a cocktail at night before bed. The doctor I met with on Wednesday told me this would be the hardest part. So far, no problem. Haha. It has officially been one day. Last night I was so tired from eating less than 900 calories all day, I was just ready to go to bed once I got home from Mom's.

I did discover two things. One, dinner isn't going to be horrible on this plan. The amount of veggies I can eat makes up for everything else, as long as i don't cook them with oil or butter. And two, I'm CRANKY when I'm not eating much. I know my body will adjust to this thing in a week or two, so I'm definitely looking forward to that. I don't like snapping at people for no real reason. Last night Chris was teasing me about something and I gave a kind of dry response and we both just started laughing. I hugged him and said 'I'm trying SO HARD to not be cranky. I'm sorry!' I'm just glad he understands that it isn't me, it's my stomach talking. Haha.

I tried a different kind of cookie this morning and I've found my favorite so far. It actually has icing on it and I'm not choking it down at all.

So anyway...my before picture. ::sigh:: That is what the picture at the beginning of all of this is for. Haha. That is the only full body picture I can find because I delete most of them. So...here we go!!!

Houston, we have lift off,

Lauren