I Can Hardly Believe It Myself...

Day 28

Wow. You want to talk about encouraging? I lost seven and a half pounds this week. Keep in mind four pounds of that was water weight, but still....soooooo stinkin encouraging. I guess cutting down on sodium isn't so horrible after all.

Also, I just tried one of their soups. Not the best thing when you're really hungry (as it is just a broth) but a really nice change from the cookies. I'm really excited about this jump in weight loss. It REALLY makes me feel good about what I'm doing. That means that in four weeks, I've dropped almost 17 pounds. Can you say WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!! I'm seriously all grins.

So I didn't blog when I got back from my weekend as a Renaissance pirate. So here we are:

Friday:

Left work early for the first time in like two years. Ran to Wal Mart, grabbed lunch, met Tanika back at the apartment. We loaded up her car, locked up my two rowdy kiddos and headed to Arlington for our costumes. Long story short, we didn't get on the road until close to 4, but luckily traffic was on our side and we didn't hit anything too crazy. We missed our exit on the way...kind of. We stopped at a Fed Ex Kinko's in Conroe to print off our tickets (since we had to have them to get into the camp grounds...we were running later than expected) and then got back on the highway and kept driving. Only after we realized we weren't in Conroe anymore (by about 10 miles) did we stop and ask for directions. Come to find out, the street we were on with the Kinko's...was our exit. :) Tanika is one of my very most favorite people in the world so the drive down there was a blast. We sang and rapped and told stories and laughed like a couple of maniacs. It was glorious.



So, once we get down there...we realize how huge the camping thing is. If I had to guess, I'd say there were 3-5 thousand people camping. there were RV's and tents as far as the eye could see. And they don't mark the campsites, you just pull your car into a field where there is room and set up shop. It was really windy, and starting to get cold, but we got the tent up, air mattress blown up and grill going in less than 45 minutes. Skill baby...this was right after we got all set up. She's amazing. haha.





I love that woman.

So Saturday, we woke up...freezing, but the sun came out and started to warm things up. I cooked a yummy breakfast of chorizo and egg sandwiches and we indulged in the tent. Then we got dressed and headed over to ze' fair grounds. Self portrait. :)



The fair was huge. So much bigger than Scarborough. We were like kids in a candy store walking around. Looking in shops, people watching, drinking some beer. It was a beautiful day (a little chilly, but lovely nonetheless) and there was so much to see. We caught a couple of shows, but mostly just walked around drinking it all in. I got a lovely own necklace for $12 (total steal, I LOVE it) and we watched boys walk around in kilts all day as it was the Scottish theme weekend. There was even a storm trooper in a kilt...



And my favorite barbarian was there of course...



He is such a doll and is always at Scarborough. Here's a better shot of the whole outfit. I seriously could dress like this every day, but then it may not be as fun. Haha.



Then Saturday night was the party. We discovered on Saturday morning that there is a bonfire at night in the campsite. So we played some dominoes and indulged in a little whiskey. Tanika who doesn't drink liquor...haha. Oh boy...



After a game of bones and almost the entire bottle of Jack, we loaded up a plastic bag with some beers and went on the hunt for this bonfire. Well we found it. What a blast...oh we had so much fun. There were people out there with drums, everyone was dancing and talking and drinking. We met some really cool folks. Met up with my friend Monika who was down there as well and just had a blast. It got dark so early for the first part of the night we couldn't believe how early it was then we turned around and it was pushing 4 a.m. And we were happy...



Haha. Needless to say, I had the best weekend I've had in awhile. I definitely needed to just get away for a bit. Sometimes all you need in life is a tent, some dominoes, a bonfire and some drunk strangers to make you happy. I know it sure worked for me.

:)

SEVEN AND A HALF POUNDS IN ONE WEEK!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEE!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho...a pirates life for me!!!

Day Whatever...

I'm totally discouraged right now. I'm not going to let it get to me...but effin bloody hell. sometimes I wonder if all this diet crap is worth it. Well, of course it's worth it, but I've found out that I now have to cut out all the salt out of my diet. Wheeeeeeee.

So anyway, I'll figure something out. Maybe I need to go buy a low sodium cookbook.

On a brighter note, Tanika and I head out tomorrow afternoon. We're both probably a little more excited than need be. I'm busy burning CD's today to make sure we have everything we need for the drive down there. Perhaps I'll make a Wife Mix to take. Haha. I'm pretty sure I've made her plenty of ghetto CD's before, perhaps I'll mix it up. I'm also going to the grocery tonight to get stuff for eats while we're there. she's bringing the grill, so I'm going to mix up the hamburger meat tonight to throw in a tupperware container so we can just make patties and still have my yummy flavor mixed in. I've got some other things up my sleeve, so hopefully i can pull it off tonight.

On another bonus side, my apartment is clean. :) There are a few touches I need to make (like vacuuming and laundry) but Kari did an amazing job on the place. I feel like I have a real home again. I don't have to block off the kitchen for fear of Willow eating her way thru my trash bags. I don't know why I go into such hermit mode, but I do and I'm going to work really hard to keep it as nice as Kari has made it for me. I read something not long ago that said something along the lines of 'would you rather take five minutes and put your dishes in the dishwasher and wipe down your counters every night after dinner or have to spend 2 hours cleaning your kitchen every saturday.' Simple, I know...most people get this. I don't know why I don't mind being so messy. At least I have people that love me and know what a trap it is for me, so they're willing to help when I get to that point. I'll definitely need to start keeping it up better if I want my little niece/nephew Kirkwood to come and stay with me ever.

So, yay for pirate weekend this weekend. We'll truely be roughing it. No running water, no electricity. Just some portapottys and us. And a tent. And the bucket we are going to attempt to bathe in. haha. You'll be seeing pictures soon...if i can figure out how to post them in the body of my blog instead of just at the top. Yippee!!!

Oh Heart of Mine, Why do you betray me?

Day 20

I feel like I'm slacking off, not writing more than a couple times a week. Things have been so crazy for me lately - I just don't feel like I have the time. It's pretty crazy how much your life can change in one short week. Alas, I sit...different, yet the same, if that makes any sense at all.

I've got two issues today, number one is, I am VERY sleepy. I didn't help my situation by staying up late to read Eclipse (as if I've never read it before, this would be the third time...) but you know how you just get sucked into a book and even tho your eyes flutter to close, you shake your head and forage on.

My second issue is a bit more annoying, I have heartburn. I've realized that almost everything I cook is spicy. At least everything I cook that doesn't involve oil and butter and cheese. All this healthy cooking is blackened this and creole that. I think the combination of all those spices daily and the fact that I'm really not eating anything to absorb that stuff....I've developed a wonderful case of heartburn (hence today's title). So my love for spicy food is biting me and in the butt. ::shakes fist at Smart for Life cookie::

I love that I'm losing weight, but MAN some days are tough. Almost all the food I eat is spicy...so they told me to cut it down to a couple times a week. I guess I can do that.

I'm so damn sleepy and I am really fighting it right now. I think I'm going to go watch Warren Sapp's performance from Dancing with the Stars last night. I just love him, but I think Brooke is going to win. So glad annoying, smiling Susan Lucci is gone. Every time I saw her, I just wanted to go BOOOOOO.

I have nothing interesting to say today. I ate a cheeseburger this weekend. You know what? It was delicious.

OH this weekend. The wife and I (Tanika, my platonic life partner, for those that don't know) are heading to the Texas Renaissance Festival on Friday afternoon. Neither of us have ever been so we are extremely excited. We'll be camping on the Faire grounds..real camping. No running water, no electricity...only porta johns, and us. We are taking food galore, beers, probably liquor too, shmokes, beef jerky a little grill. It is truely going to be glorious. I need to go to the grocery on Thursday so I can get everything all mixed up as need be.

I wish we could take the babies but they'd just run rampant and Duece would bark at the planet.

I'll be posting pictures of us all pirated up. AND of all the looney ren people.

Are you excited? I'm excited.
Captain Ali

We're All Going Bananas

Day 15

This week has proven to be a stressful one. In a way, i knew it was coming. But I surely didn't expect it to take the turn that it did. If I talk to you daily, you probably know what is going on. While I appreciate the sentiment, I don't feel like talking about it. In some ways I feel like someone spun me on my head and when I finally stopped twirling, I had no idea what direction I was headed in anymore. In other ways, I know that I'm doing the very best thing for me right now, and that is all that I can hope to accomplish. I know that things will work themselves out for the best, but that doesn't mean that I didn't fall off the wagon a little last night and indulge in some vodka and sugar free red bull.

Of course, the result of that is I feel like total ass this morning. I rather enjoy waking up without a hangover. So this morning suuuuucks.

On the plus side, I tried my banana not cookies this morning (heated up for 10 seconds with a few sprays of calorie free margarine, as they suggested) and they truely are delicious. Heating these puppies up really does change the texture of them. I can't wait to try heating up the blueberry ones.

In all honesty, I feel like staring at my computer screen all day. Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury so I'll be working like a maniac, just as I have been all week. Please pray for me at work. This has really been the most stressed out I think that I have ever been here. If you don't consider yourself a prayer - send me pink and blue thoughts.

Another plus side I have to make myself think of right now, is I lost another four pounds this week. A big yaaay for me. It's funny because they keep telling me 'now don't get used to losing so much every week. Two or three pounds is what you should expect'. I think they don't want me to get discouraged when I stop losing the big numbers weekly. To be honest tho, I kind of expect these numbers to maintain for a little while since I've cut out SO MUCH. I don't think I realized how crappy my eating and drinking habits were until I started doing this thing. If nothing else, at least I'm getting that under control. I can't wait till i start seeing real results and can take another picture that shows some real progress.

Damn that banana thing was good. I already want another one. Pause please, while I go get another glass of water...

Mmmmmm. Agua. :) Okay, so I promised Marcy that I would post my chili recipe. Keep in mind that I do a lot of this by sight and taste so I don't really have measurements. Just use your best judgement...and if you have a question, call me.

Lauren's Four Alarm Chili
2 pounds hamburger meat (I've used chili meat before, but I don't like it. It has a lot more gristle in it and fatty parts, but if you like using chili meat, knock yourself out.)
2-3 jalapeno peppers (de-seeded and chopped)
1 habanero pepper (de-seeded and VERY finely chopped. USE GLOVES. I really can not stress that enough. I didn't use gloves the first time I cooked with habanero and my hands burned for three days. I'm not exaggerating.)
1 bell pepper (diced)
1 medium white onion (roughly chopped. I love onion and I like big pieces in my chili. Dice it if you just want to get the onion flavor.)
4 cloves of garlic (diced. sometimes I use more depending on the size of the garlic cloves. I cook with a ton of garlic and really can't have enough so if you want more or less, again, best judgement)
Chili Powder
Cayene Pepper
Garlic Powder
Salt
Black Pepper
2 Cans Stewed tomatoes
1-2 Cans Tomato Paste (sometimes I only need one can. This is decided during cooking after I taste it. I like very tomato-y chili.)
1-2 Cans Red Kidney Beans (I also like a lot of beans in my chili. As I said before, do what you like.)

• Brown the hamburger meat in a large skillet.
• In another skillet, saute your bell pepper, garlic, jalapenos and habanero. I don't stew my chili for hours, so I cook my veggies a bit before I add them. It also really releases the flavor of all the spices you've got going on. These three will take longer to cook than the onion so I saute them for about 7-10 minutes on medium heat with a couple tablespoons of butter before I add the onion. Once the onion is almost translucent, remove from the heat and set aside.
• When the hamburger is browned (with no pink remaining), I strain off almost all the grease (if you leave a little, it adds a nice flavor and really soaks up the seasoning you are going to add).
• Once the hamburger is back in your large skillet (if you do not have a skillet large enough to make your huge pot of chili, put it in your largest saucepan at this point), you can start to season your meat. I add quite a bit chili powder, garlic powder and cayenne pepper. I do NOT like bland chili. Virtually, I add chili powder until the meat is burgandy. If it is your first time using raw ingredients (instead of a package seasoning) start slow and then flavor to taste once you've mixed all your ingredients. I save my salt and pepper for last.
• Now, mix in your veggies that are cooked. Add your cans of stewed tomatoes (you can also use diced, but like I said, I like the halves b/c I like tomato-y chili. Its like a stew), one can of beans and one can of tomato paste.
• Stir until all ingredients are mixed and let it sit on a medium simmer for about 10 minutes.
• This is when you decide what it needs. More seasoning, beans or tomato paste. If it is too spicy, the tomato paste will come in handy here.
• Salt and pepper to your liking and voila!
• Let simmer for about half an hour to an hour on a medium/low heat. Stir occasionally to get those flavors mixing around.
• Serve topped with sharp cheddar cheese and onions and a nice side of jalapeno cornbread.

This is also really good for vegetarians. Boca meat (it's soy meat) is a great substitute. Throw in some mushrooms and some cooked squash and zuchinni...very yummy.

Maybe I should make you people pay for these. ;)

Setting mouths on fire all over the world,
Lauren

Previously...on Ninjas Need Love Too...

Day 13 Continued...

The plus side of today...it is more than halfway over. the downside? I feel like very little progress has been made. It's frustration. I've worked really hard, I've gotten a lot done...but I still feel like I am treading water, to an extent.

This job stresses me out. STRESSSSSS. This stress then carries over into every single little aspect of my life. I don't even know what to do half of the time. Again...STRESS. I just want to curl up in a ball on my couch with my dogs and watch shows with people dancing in them. I don't want to watch the elections. I voted, I'm excited to see what happens. But I think I will just flip back now and then to catch an update and spend the rest of my night watching something crappy. I really want to go and rent Journey to the Center of the Earth. It is at the Redbox today, so I may just go do that. Nothing like a bad Brenden Fraiser movie to take your mind off things for awhile. I really wish I had my laptop already so that I could play some pirates. I miss my pirate family, they usually get me thru my days here, but I have been so busy I haven't been able to play lately.

So as happy as I am that I'm losing weight, I really hate Smart for Life right now. They took away my bacon. My booze. My pirates (might as well blame the diet). My social life (who wants to go sit with all their drunk friends in a bar...totally sober?). DAMN YOU SMART FOR LIFE.

Okay not really, I'm thrilled about the diet I'm just in an extremely foul mood today. Yesterday too. I really turn into Loner-girl when I get like this. Rather be alone and be in a foul mood than lash out at someone who probably doesn't totally deserve it (oh come on...everyone deserves it a little bit).

Life usually hands people lemons. Make some lemonade, sweet. I think life is handing me eggplant. Who wants eggplant juice? Not me, thats for sure.

I know it'll all pass. It always does. But I hate feeling bummed. Maybe it's a lack of carbs in my life. ;)

Anywho, I'm not sure how accurate it is, but I got on the scale this morning and am down almost 14 pounds. Crazy. Reeeeeeeeally encouraging...but crazy. This is what not drinking and not having sodas or grease/butter will do. Two weeks...I'm impressed.

So I'm back for another official weigh in tomorrow. I don't know why that reminded me to take my vitamins.

Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
Olivia

Quick and Dirty

Day 13

Okay so it won't be dirty...but it'll be quick.

This weekend wasn't so easy. With the halloween shindigs i found it much easier to fall off the wagon. The good part is, I've still somehow managed to lose another three pounds. :)

I had a really rough day yesterday, but also enjoyed some time last night planning our beloved pirate weekend with Tanika. She provided me with some laughter at the end of a very laughter free day.

I'll update more this afternoon.

It's cookie time,
Lauren

TGIPD

Day 9

Well here we are...Friday. Pay Day. Halloween. Spoooooky.

I'm pretty excited...I'm going to Sherlock's tonight, yes...I know. I don't really like Sherlock's. It isn't that I don't have a good time when I go there, it is just always so packed and loud and overpriced. I'll take my sweet little Outer Marker any day of the week, thank you. BUT I'm going to Sherlock's for a reason. I won't be drinking, which is going to a test...this is the first time I'll be in an actual bar since I stopped drinking. My wonderful Tango 9 boys (Paul, Mike and Jeff) and Lauren (Paul's wife) and I think some girls that Mike knows will all be there. I don't see any of them very often anymore, but between work, how far we all live from each other and Mike constantly going to Malaysia for work...it isn't easy. But I figure what the hey, they'll practically be in my backyard. So I'm stoked. I wish Chris could come and meet them all but he'll be taking Annie trick or treating tonight, so I'm sure he'll have a blast with her.

I went in for my first official weigh in on Wednesday and I'm happy with the way things are progressing. It's very encouraging to see results after just one week. It really makes me want to stay on this thing. I will, of course, be making an exception on Saturday night for Denise and Jonah's party...but other than that, I'm pretty happy sticking to this diet. I eat well at night and so far that seems to be appeasing most of my snacking desires. Last night I was really craving something salty to snack on and probably would have stabbed someone for a calorie free can of pringles or something. At least tonight I won't be at home with nothing to do but think about how much delicious food is out there that i can't have.

On the plus side, I tried a new kind of not cookie today. Blueberry. WOW. I wasn't very sure about this one...you know how I feel about fruit and bread together. Man, it is about as close to eating a blueberry muffin as I think you could get without actually having one. Sooooo yummy. That makes me really happy, to find yet another one that I really actually like. It makes me excited about the banana one, they told me to heat that one up a little bit in the microwave and put a couple sprays of butter on it, it tastes like banana bread. So I'll hold off on trying that one for a few days. At least these things don't taste like cardboard. That would suck.

So my only plans for Halloween are partying it up tomorrow night with the neighbors. I'm trying to decide what I want for dinner tonight as all my chicken and fish leftovers are gone. Maybe I'll treat myself and run over to The Flying Fish for something yummy and grilled. Their veggies are soooo good. Who knows? What I wouldn't give for something smothered in cheese and deep fried.

Dreaming of chicken fried bacon,
Lauren

And in the red corner...weighing in at....

Day 7

Today is my first official weigh in at the Smart for Life center. Is center the right word? Office? Den of evil not cookies and sugar free dressing? Nah, the place is great, I'm just joshin. My counselor I met with was a huge help and really sweet. I'm sure she thought I was losing my mind because I kept trying to come up with good snacks I could have during the day while she was talking.

I got on the scale this morning and it had gone up a pound. Lesson from this? Stop weighing yourself at work. I'm done. All it does is frustrate me and then I lose sight of what is really happening. I'm doign everything right and I know the weight is coming off so I'm not going to sweat the small stuff. We'll just focus on how much I've lost this week when I go in today. Goodness...I am extra thirsty today for some reason. Not too sure why...but I've had 48 oz of water already today so thats really good. If this diet does nothing else for me, it is making me drink a ton more water and a lot less of everything else.

I want to tell you what I cooked for dinner last night. 1) I wasn't sure how to cook spaghetti squash. I didn't even know what it was, to be honest, but it is on my list of veggies I can eat. So, I just kind of winged it. wow, it was REALLY yummy. And 2) it was the first night I cooked for Chris. Amazing that it took three months for me to make him dinner, but seeing as how my kitchen has been pretty much a war zone since we met..this is the first time I've braved it. OH! Number 3) I had also never cooked scallops before. This was much easier than I thought it would be and very delicious. So for you cookers out there:

Lemon Creole Tilapia
Fresh tilapia - rinsed off
1 to 2 lemons (based on how many fish filets you have)
Creole Seasoning
Salt and Pepper

• Preheat the oven to 400 degrees
• Lightly salt and pepper both sides of your tilapia filets
• Add creole seasoning (I use Zataran's or Tony's) to both sides to your desired level. I cover pretty liberally - but keep in mind that creole seasoning has salt in it as well, so you don't want to pre-salt the fish too much if you are going to add a lot of creole seasoning. I like my fish spicy.
• Place fish filets in a pan. I like to use my stone from Pampered Chef but a standard glass baking pan is what I use when my stone is out of commission.
• Slice a lemon into rounds fairly thin. Place two to three lemon rounds on top of each filet to cover as much of the fish as you can. This will add a nice crisp flavor and a lot of moisture while the fish bakes.
• Put in oven and bake for 20-25 minutes. Less if your filets are on the smaller side. You don't want the fish to dry out, but you want it to be nice and flakey.
• After you've taken the fish out of the oven, squeeze the juice from the lemon slices over the fish. I don't like to serve with the lemon slices on the fish (even tho it looks good) because people generally don't know what do to with them on their plate.

If you'd like to make a nice dip to serve with the fish, mix 1/2 cup sour cream, 1/4 cup mayonaise, three tablespoons fresh chopped dill and juice from a whole lemon. It compliments the fish really well.

Blackened Grilled Scallops
1 pound Bay Scallops (you can get them from the butcher at the grocery. Bay Scallops are the small ones)
Blackening Seasoning

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees
• Rince scallops in water
• Put scallops in a plastic bag (the bag they came in will work fine, or a ziplock bag)
• Squeeze a little lemon or lime juice in the bag and toss the scallops around just so they all get a little wet from the juice. You don't need much.
• Pour blackening seasoning into the bag (I use Chef Paul Prudhomme's Blackened Redfish Magic seasoning blend) and toss scallops around until all are covered. Use seasoning to your liking.
• Put in a baking dish and bake for about 10-12 minutes. Test one (it should flake apart very easily) to ensure cooked thouroughly.

I made these with the baked tilapia. Since I knew they would cook faster, I put the fish in first then threw these in the same pan with the fish about halfway thru the cooking time.

Spaghetti Squash - Roasted
1 Spaghetti Squash
Pam Spray or Olive Oil

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees
• Cut squash in half long ways
• Remove all seeds with a spoon (you might have to use a knife to scrape the seeds out, I did)
• Place face down on a cookie sheet and bake for 45 minutes to an hour (or until you can rake a fork along the 'meat' of the squash and it pulls away like spaghetti)

This was great with just salt and pepper, it was so sweet and moist it didn't need butter at all. Produced a LOT of squash too. Be prepared to have leftovers.

So we had that with some brussel sprouts and steamed cabbage. OH and I made a cucumber and tomato salad with balsamic vinegar and fresh basil. Yum Yum! And that is how I eat every night now. Haha. I guess that makes it easier to understand how I can stand just eating these cookies during the day.

Demetric is in the office next to me using a permanent marker and the smell has given me a headache. Fantastic. Hopefully it will go away with the Excedrin Migraine I just took.

Anyway, I'm off to finish my day. Hope you have a lovely one.

Sniffin' markers,
Lauren

Zombies and Vampires and Clowns, Oh My!

Day 6

I keep forgetting it is the week of Halloween. It is so hard to believe that we are four days away from November. Then, Thanksgiving will be here, then Christmas, then my birthday. Eek. It's already here again. I remember being a kid and summer seemed SO long, there was far too much space in between Christmases and an 8 - 3 o'clock day at school lasted forever. Now I sit and can't even imagine where the last few years have gone. Everything has just flown by at such speeds that I find it hard to focus sometimes. Life just goes by in a blur of color that you can't quite make out...the familiarity is there, but one day you wake up and you are standing in this entirely new place...not quite sure how you got there. I feel like I'm reaching out to try and grab on to as much as I possibly can and at times I can only sit and watch the stream of colors slip thru my fingers.

All of that being said, I love where I am right now. I love the people in my life. I love what I have an am accomplishing. And even with all that, I can't help but wonder how my life might be different 'if'. You know? So much in my past would have altered everything so drastically if I just would have taken the right fork instead of the left. I think in a lot of ways I chose the road less traveled, and for that I am proud. Life has its ups and downs respectively and I think I'm just excited to be on an up right now.

To the topic at hand...the ::gasp!:: diet. Today has been hard but only because I am so tired. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night. Thankfully, this is the first time it has happened since i began the diet. Generally, without a few drinks in my system, sleeping is a little bit of an issue. It hasn't been as of yet, until last night. I'm not sure exactly why I couldn't sleep but then, even when I did drift off, i dreamt that I was still having trouble sleeping. So, when I did wake up at about 4:30 this morning to realize I had been sleeping for a couple of hours...I felt as if I'd never been asleep at all. it did make me off on my cookie intake today. I always kind of associate eating with being sleepy so I tend to not eat anything if I'm trying to stay awake.

I also figured something else out. I can really get obsessive about the scale. I need to learn that just because I haven't lost another pound since yesterday....doesn't mean that it isn't working. Obviously it's working, I'm just being silly. It upset me for a total of about 4 minutes, then I realized how silly I was being and snapped out of it. My official weigh in is tomorrow night after work. I'm pretty stoked about it. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The thing I'm probably most proud about right now is the fact that I went to a Halloween party last night and I didn't drink anything OR eat anything. I tasted the punch, only because Josh was raving about it, but that was it. Tuaca Lauren actually went to a party and didn't get drunk. Ta-daaaaaaa. It's my new parlour trick. It was pretty funny, I went to Josh's party....dressed as Josh. I even had 'KING' written on the inside of my fingers and my hair greased back. He got a kick out of it as did the other guys there. I was therefore included as a King for the rest of the night and toasted their jager shots with my water every time. mmmm.

P.S. being the only sober person at a party isn't necessarily how I want to spend my Monday nights, but if I were to do it with anyone, it would be that crowd. Love those peeps...as crazy as they might be.

I am out of all the good cookies. Tomorrow I'm going to have to figure out how to choke down the Garden Pizza as that is all I have left. She mentioned a little salsa so I'll try that first. Wish me luck.

Tonight I'm cooking dinner for Chris for the very first time. I'm excited. I only wish I would have marinated some veggies last night. Eh, I'll figure something delicious out. I generally do, if I do say so myself.

So tonight will be another lovely evening of Battlestar Galactica (I've already got chris to season three) and some homemade cooking. Nothing like science fiction telly and cajun baked fish...

Beam me up Scotty,
Lauren

Her Middle Name is Boom

Day 5

The title today comes from one of my very favorite glassJAW songs. I forget how much I love them sometimes. If you don't listen, you should check out one of their earlier albums. It is called Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silence and it will rock your face off. I have this weird memory of getting off the phone with Kyle Cermak after leaving the mall and putting that CD in as I drove to my friend Monty's house. He lived in Bedford or something and I lived in Denton at the time so I'd have lots of time to drive and listen to lovely music on the way. I do still love that album.

Anyway, where were we? Ahhhh, yes, day five. :) The hardest part so far, as they said it would be, is the not drinking. But even that is being given a run for it's money by boredom. Just sitting at home, watching TV and feeling lazy makes me want to eat stuff. I'm not particular as to what said 'stuff' might be. Could be some olives, or a pickle or four...maybe half a can of pringles? Almonds...ooo do you have almonds (they are nature's wet sand, you know...)?

You're welcome Valerie.

So anyway, my two biggest hurdles...not being drunk and mindless eating. You know, if that is the worst I've got to deal with, I think I'll be okay. I just keep reminding myself that I've unofficially lost seven (yeah you read that right...biotch) pounds and I plan on losing a lot more. Its a drop in the bucket, but hey...a drop is a drop and I'll freakin take it.

One thing I've learned I don't like is people going 'Lauren...' like they're going to scold me for doing something I shouldn't be doing. My guilty conscience does just fine on its own, thank you very much. I don't need you treating me like I don't know that I shouldn't eat that. Yeah, thanks, I'll beat myself up over it on my own.

Luckily, not very much of this has happened. The best part is, I usually don't feel guilty at all. I can usually justify just about anything to myself. Even when I was spending all that money doing Nutrisystem a few years ago - I was putting away almost two liters of vodka every few days. So this time, I'm doing it right and am providing myself with just enough of a conscience about it. Hopefully this will hold.

I do have to say, I feel better. I'm still a little sleepy from the lack of calories, but they say that will regulate after a couple of weeks. Until then, I'll keep taking my B12 and getting a full night's sleep for the first time in years. Literally.

It is funny how such a small amount of weight can make you feel so much better. Just knowing that I'm slowly melting away makes me feel like I've got a little hitch in my giddy-up. It's a great feeling.

Thinking thin,
Lauren

Scary Doesn't Even Cut It

Day Four

Today is Sunday. This weekend proved to be the challenge that it was as far as the diet goes. I knew that I should eat a normal lunch yesterday since we (Chris and I) were taking Annie (his wee one) to Six Flags. Not too smart trying to walk around an amusement park in full pirate garb with half of my daily 800 calories in my belly. So we, started our day at Sweet Tomatoes (if you live in the North Dallas area, you HAVE to try this place. yum yum). I had a reasonable lunch and was proud of myself. So we headed to Chris's place to get dressed up to take Annie to the park. We got all gussied up and headed out. Annie was so excited, it's kind of odd how much I adore that kid after only being around her a couple of times. She has the funniest personality, she keeps me and Chris laughing, thats for sure.

Anyway, we head out to Six Flags, pay for parking, walk the 749,685 miles to the gate only to be confronted by a park employee who's name tag read the ever important title of 'Supervisor'. He then informed us that adults aren't allowed to dress up in the park during Fright Fest. I'll spare you all the details, but basically because their employees are dressed up they don't want adults being confused for park employees. Maybe we'd be too convincing with a six year old dressed like a character from High School Musical in tow. But I digress...

After getting a refund for our parking, and a very long walk back to the car, we headed back to North Dallas to change into normal clothes. Before heading back to Six Flags, we went to McDonald's and I ate...well...too much. I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I did then spend five hours walking around a theme park, so I'm hoping that I kind of evened out the damage that I did. Last night I had every intention of going home and finishing the box of wine in my fridge, I already did away with my day, right? Thankfully I fell asleep at Chris's watching the Food Network and by the time he woke me up and I got home, it was about 1 a.m. and after walking the dogs (which took suprisingly long...Hoss and his damn stomach issues) I succumed to the fact that it would be stupid and ridiculous to drink anything and settled with putting in a 4400 disc and falling asleep.

Oh and let me throw this in. When did Six Flags become Ghettofest 2008? I swear, in all the years I've been going to Six Flags, it has never been so crowded. And about 80% of the people there were hoodlems. Part of it made me just feel old...but then after careful consideration, I realized that me and my friends were not like that when we were that age. A group of 14/15 year old girls were behind us in line for a drink at one point talking about things...very loudly that no young teenage girl should be discussing. We'll just say that the topic involved things run on batteries. I mean really? We have a six year old girl with us, can't you see that? Not wanting to get in a screaming match with a 15 year old girl, that probably would not have ended well...I held my tongue. Thankfully, I think Annie was too engrossed in everything else going on around her to realize what they were saying. But it was like that everywhere we went. Six Flags has turned into the club scene for teens. It is ridiculous. There was even a fight at one point that drew the attention of about 15 cops running thru the park that we later found out was because someone had on the wrong color. It made me sad in a way...but believe me, next time we go, we'll be there when the park opens to avoid as much of this scene as possible.

Today has been kind of hard. Sunday is usually my day of crappy food and TV - so I've really had to just keep reminding myself of the financial commitment I've made to this diet. I am going to go thru with this. I've already lost a resounding five pounds or so (I know it is all water weight, but I'm thrilled nonetheless) so I am remembering that as I suck down the second liter of water I've had today. As I eat the cookies I'm not super fond of (the chocolate chip ones are DELICIOUS...alas I bought an equal amount of the chocolate raspberry. I could really do without these) I remind myself of the delicious dinner of fish and veggies I'll have this evening.

I have such an amazing support system in place. Even a friend who threatened to kick my ass (in a very lovingly way I'm sure) if I drank alcohol. As much as I may want to, I know that it isn't worth is. So here it is Sunday...I haven't really drank since Wednesday. Sadly, I can say this is the longest I've gone in a very long time without alcohol. I know that it is totally good for me. And I'm really not super beat up about it. Next weekend will be a challenge as well. I have a halloween party to go to that is going to test me. I've already allowed myself some wiggle room there as I know me, if I just go cold turkey on my two favorite things (food and booze) I'll end up binging and freaking out a few weeks in. So wiggle room I'll give myself...I just have be sure I don't wiggle too hard or I might knock down these walls I'm fighting so hard to keep up right now.

In all honesty, it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought it would be, so I am grateful for that. Day 1 was the hardest, the rest have really just been mind over matter. I'm not real hungry, and when I do get really hungry, I have things I love that I can have that really help. Thankfully, I like water, because I'm drinking a ton of it. Maybe I should invest in a video game system to keep me from wanting to eat when I'm sitting at home.

Day 4 - almost over. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

Fighting 'em till we can't,
Lauren

Starting Today

Starting yesterday, actually, I am making a huge change in my life. To say that I've started a diet is a bit of an understatement. I'm not on a very (very) low calorie meal plan that has me eating every two hours. A lot of baked chicken and fish is in my future. haha.

I decided to start this blog to log my journey. I am not going to be overweight on my 30th birthday. I WILL NOT. I have just over two years, but my hope is that this will work much faster than that. I just need to be able to stick with it. To say I could do it in just a few months would, I think, make it easier...but the prospect of having to live this way for a year or longer kind of scares me, to be honest.

I gained my first 20 or 30 pounds after I turned 21. Of course, my drinking increased...so I was constantly consuming empty calories late at night. A bit of a no-brainer. The confusing part comes when i gained the rest of it. When Shaun came home, and was so sick...I gained 70 pounds in seven months. To be frank, I literally have no idea how it happened. It was like i woke up one day and was wearing a size 18. When we split up, I vowed to lose the weight i had gained. hell, at that point it even seemed feasible. That was two years ago and I've somehow managed to pile on about 40 more.

So this blog is to say one thing...I'm not kidding myself anymore. I refuse to be this overweight on my 30th birthday. The weight isn't going to magically melt away unless I change my lifestyle dramatically. So...that's what I've done.

I started a plan called Smart for Life, you can visit their website (http://smartforlife.com/) and check it out if you want. Basically you get these 'cookies'...that are totally NOT cookies. I think they just tell you that to make you feel better about them. Haha. I will eat six of these not cookies a day, one every two hours. Then for dinner, six ounces of protein and two to five servings of vegetables. I had my first dinner last night and that is a LOT of veggies. Plus there are a handful of veggies I can have unlimited amounts of, so i threw some of those in the mix. I can still cook with balsamic vinegar...which most know is a staple in my kitchen. I just can't use oil or butter. I can't have red meat (it's only temporary. it's only temporary. my mantra...) or pork. All of which I can deal with. The worst part? No alcohol.

I don't think this is the worst because I'm some huge drunk...but do I drink every day? Yes. Have I for years? Yes. Even if it is just a glass of wine or a cocktail at night before bed. The doctor I met with on Wednesday told me this would be the hardest part. So far, no problem. Haha. It has officially been one day. Last night I was so tired from eating less than 900 calories all day, I was just ready to go to bed once I got home from Mom's.

I did discover two things. One, dinner isn't going to be horrible on this plan. The amount of veggies I can eat makes up for everything else, as long as i don't cook them with oil or butter. And two, I'm CRANKY when I'm not eating much. I know my body will adjust to this thing in a week or two, so I'm definitely looking forward to that. I don't like snapping at people for no real reason. Last night Chris was teasing me about something and I gave a kind of dry response and we both just started laughing. I hugged him and said 'I'm trying SO HARD to not be cranky. I'm sorry!' I'm just glad he understands that it isn't me, it's my stomach talking. Haha.

I tried a different kind of cookie this morning and I've found my favorite so far. It actually has icing on it and I'm not choking it down at all.

So anyway...my before picture. ::sigh:: That is what the picture at the beginning of all of this is for. Haha. That is the only full body picture I can find because I delete most of them. So...here we go!!!

Houston, we have lift off,

Lauren