Her Middle Name is Boom

Day 5

The title today comes from one of my very favorite glassJAW songs. I forget how much I love them sometimes. If you don't listen, you should check out one of their earlier albums. It is called Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silence and it will rock your face off. I have this weird memory of getting off the phone with Kyle Cermak after leaving the mall and putting that CD in as I drove to my friend Monty's house. He lived in Bedford or something and I lived in Denton at the time so I'd have lots of time to drive and listen to lovely music on the way. I do still love that album.

Anyway, where were we? Ahhhh, yes, day five. :) The hardest part so far, as they said it would be, is the not drinking. But even that is being given a run for it's money by boredom. Just sitting at home, watching TV and feeling lazy makes me want to eat stuff. I'm not particular as to what said 'stuff' might be. Could be some olives, or a pickle or four...maybe half a can of pringles? Almonds...ooo do you have almonds (they are nature's wet sand, you know...)?

You're welcome Valerie.

So anyway, my two biggest hurdles...not being drunk and mindless eating. You know, if that is the worst I've got to deal with, I think I'll be okay. I just keep reminding myself that I've unofficially lost seven (yeah you read that right...biotch) pounds and I plan on losing a lot more. Its a drop in the bucket, but hey...a drop is a drop and I'll freakin take it.

One thing I've learned I don't like is people going 'Lauren...' like they're going to scold me for doing something I shouldn't be doing. My guilty conscience does just fine on its own, thank you very much. I don't need you treating me like I don't know that I shouldn't eat that. Yeah, thanks, I'll beat myself up over it on my own.

Luckily, not very much of this has happened. The best part is, I usually don't feel guilty at all. I can usually justify just about anything to myself. Even when I was spending all that money doing Nutrisystem a few years ago - I was putting away almost two liters of vodka every few days. So this time, I'm doing it right and am providing myself with just enough of a conscience about it. Hopefully this will hold.

I do have to say, I feel better. I'm still a little sleepy from the lack of calories, but they say that will regulate after a couple of weeks. Until then, I'll keep taking my B12 and getting a full night's sleep for the first time in years. Literally.

It is funny how such a small amount of weight can make you feel so much better. Just knowing that I'm slowly melting away makes me feel like I've got a little hitch in my giddy-up. It's a great feeling.

Thinking thin,
Lauren